With great excitement, anticipation, anxiety, stress, and most importantly, happiness!
reading back on my previous blog entries, I've realised how much my writing style has changed. It used to be so abstract, filled with unspoken sorrow and angst embedded in those words, so much so that me myself don't even know what I was emo-ing about back then. But I must admit, ever since I'm done with school, my writing skills have gone down slope tremendously, needless to mention literature skills are hiding below seabed. But nonetheless, just like my life now, this is a much brighter blog, filled with happiness and love!
It's amazing how you came into my life. Almost 6 and a half years ago (see that's the benefit of keeping a blog) when we first met, you were just another friend's friend, and I guess I was too drunk/high to even remember how you look like. Then fate or actually bad luck brought us together again (that was a real blessing in disguise). After that, we went out as friends occasionally, and we talked on msn like what I do with most friends (less stalkers!) All along I knew you are a really nice friend who will entertain my nonsense, talk to me about things, and most importantly, didn't irritate me like my stalkers who try too hard to please me. It never crossed my mind to develop our friendship further. Even when you asked me on msn whether I will consider you as my boyfriend, I just brushed it off with a casual and HONEST remark that I don't want to think about it. Perhaps I was young and superficial, and you were not my tall, dark and handsome prince charming with six packs, live in a bungalow and drive me around in luxurious cars. And perhaps I wasn't your ideal girl, too playful, too adventurous and never wanted to settle down, things continued the way they were. You remembered my birthday and chatted with me when I was freezing in BJ, although I would rather watch my dramas then entertain you at times, but we did meet up everytime I was back in sgp, for the usual dinner, movie, shopping. Then I came back permanently and studied like mad for the final exams, you tried to encourage me, cheer me up, but I was totally unappreciative.
Growing up, I was always that independent girl, who believed I don't need a guy in my life. I enjoyed spending time on my own, or going out wild and crazy with a bunch of friends. I've never believed in true love, I never wanted any commitments and I never knew how it will be like having someone always there for you. I loved fruitful shopping trips alone where nobody criticizes my taste or restricts my spending and loved the feeling of going home with bags of good buys for myself; now, I restrict my expenditure on personal shopping, save money to buy a gift for you, and look out for good buys for you. I loved traveling alone, exploring new places, trying out new things, especially if no one else had been there done that before; now, I look forward to exploring places with you, be it old or new, it's the company that matters, isn't it? I never thought I needed a guy, but I was wrong...
Now as I grow older, I've learnt that love is not about finding mr handsome to 'bring out' and show off, nor is it about finding mr super-rich to satisfy my material needs. Love is about finding mr right to share my joy and sorrow, whom I can celebrate good times, and brave through bad times together, and work towards the common dream of building our perfect family :)
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