Initially I had great doubts on looking after a baby (when I'm like a child myself), especially when I have never handled new borns before and I always avoid carrying other people's babies cos I don't know how to. But when I have one tiny little human myself, I had no choice but to pick her up whenever she cries and carry her till she falls asleep.
Next was bathing her. For the first week I dreaded her bathtime because I was such a noob and bathing seem such a hassle when I had to prepare her clothes, water, cotton balls, alcohol swaps, nappy cream etc etc just for a short bath, not mentioning my clumsiness at handling a baby and keeping my fingers crossed that she doesn't pee or poop on me. Well, things just got better with practice. Now my little girl gets her bath morning and night and she loves it, and I enjoy it too.
And then breastfeeding, it certainly looks easy and looks like babies are born to know how to suckle on the breast, but they need practice too. Call me a lazy mom, I'm lazy to pump every 2-3 hours if that's what it takes to increase the milk supply as what every website says. I just top it up with formula if she's still hungry (and this little girl of mine is a big eater!) Or maybe I'm not using the pump correctly, but it's super painful to pump as compared to my little girl suckling at my nipple which feels like a little massage haha. Sigh, but it does get depressing and worrying when it's her mealtime and my boobs still feel empty :( Nonetheless, at least this little girl drinks everything and is growing and pooping well.
I admit there were times when I got really frustrated when she cries non-stop and refuses to sleep and I can understand why people get post-natal depression because I did feel more emotional during the first few weeks. Just the thought of little little things will get tears rolling down my cheeks even though I'm not feeling sad, and it does get depressing at the sight of her crying her lungs out and making me feel like I'm not a good mother. But things just get better as time passes and it definitely helps to have a loving husband whom I can share all my joys and sorrows.
Talking about confinement, I was never a firm believer of THE traditions. I bathed and washed my hair everyday, I wore tshirt and shorts and sleep in aircon every night. For the first week, I did feel a bit different and weaker, especially when I had to go out and for the first time in my life, my face felt dry and it helped to clear up all my pimples! (sadly, I feel them popping out again now) And even though I drank red date tea everyday and ate super a lot, I didn't feel heaty and still felt very very hungry. That lasted for 3 weeks at least, before I felt heaty and started having constipation, that was when I stopped the red date tea and turned on the fan blatantly. Some people say confinement should be 30 days, some say 40. I definitely didn't have a very strict confinement and it was less than 4 weeks when I gradually started living and eating like a normal human being again. I guess the bottom line is to listen to your body.
Now with my 5+ weeks old baby Kylie, things are much more routine and easy now. Summary of my daily life now? Every morning I keep my fingers crossed that she can sleep till at least 8am when she will make all kinds of sound to wake me up, drink milk, poop BIG time. Then if she's full and happy, I'll put her back in her cot to play by herself for a while while I quickly wash up, sterilize her milk bottles, get ready for her morning bath and if there's enough time (i.e. she doesn't start making noise) make myself milo and grab a bite. Then it's her bath time followed by massage time, 90% of the time she loves it and let me take my time to bathe and massage her. After which I'll change her into her outfit of the day and put her on the rocker or I'll carry her around and play with her. Hopefully by 10ish she will be rocked to a very short nap where I can clear her bathtub of water, take my breakfast if I haven't done so, make the bed, get water for myself and her, feed fish, wash clothes, dust the bed, clean the floor or whatsoever that needs to be done before it's her poop and milk time again (usually ard 11). After finishing her milk, burping and finally asleep at about 12 noon, that's when I can finally have my lunch, do whatever which I have not done and then plonk myself on the bed for an afternoon nap. One good thing about Kylie is that she can sleep for about 3-4 hours straight (but when she doesn't sleep, she DOES NOT sleep, and that's usually the case every morning). At 3 or 4pm, she'll wake up for milk again and usually continues her nap after that. After which I will surf net and do my own stuff while waiting for Cheeky to come home from work. Around dinner time, little Kylie will wake up again for milk and then we'll bring her out to the living room to play with all the relatives, if she's not sleepy. Around 10pm, she gets her night time bath, changes into pajamas, have her milk and then swaddle up to sleep around midnight. Every night I'm hoping she'll sleep through the night, but so far every night she wakes up at 4+, poops and have some milk before going back to sleep again. And the cycle repeats itself. She definitely poops like me. dots..... And looking after her, watching her grow up is pure joy cos she is such a darling.
Now for some pictures..
See how she's changed in just 1 month and how round her face is now.
Having a baby has definitely changed everything. Initially I was so certain on getting a big marine tank in our new house and having a big walk-in wardrobe, but now I think I'll save a room for children's playroom. Now there'll be no more peaceful long dinners followed by desserts and what not, but just looking for not-so-crowded places to eat, eat and go and pray hard she doesn't make noise. I guess it will be a long time before I can enjoy late night movies with Cheeky or just spend the afternoon walking around window shopping.
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